Changes

A question was asked... how can we be an example but not feel responsible for other's choices, especially, I might add, when they are making poor ones?    Our society is happy to point out all that is wrong with us from plastic surgery to self-help books- have you noticed how large that section of a book store is?  How many of us when trying to help other people in our lives through their struggles, point out what is right with them and even ourselves? We're often our own worst critics, kicking our souls around like a deflating soccer ball.   I think we need to treat ourselves and those in our lives with love, and respect.   Condemnation and judgmental attitudes never healed hearts or changed lives.  However, when is the line drawn? A person has to want to change for themselves, and act upon it from their own free will... no nagging or threats or ultimatums will make another person make long lasting true change.  It is hard when you give and give and get nothing back, and those people who continue to make poor choices continue to suck the life force out of you, making you miserable with worry and pain... as Christians, we might feel guilty for taking care of ourselves and distancing ourselves from toxic people or those life force drainers... but I once had some wise council from a religious leader that said that Jesus does not expect us to be victims or victimized by another person.  It is okay to distance ourselves from those people who are toxic or self-destructing, because we have to take care of ourselves, and we can do all we can do, but it is up to each of us to make our choices to change and we can't be swept up into the cyclone of destruction, guilt, worry and anguish because we end up suffering and thus our ability to do good is weakened.   The Lord will strengthen us no matter what the people around us do or don't do.  The Lord will always give us aid when we ask, and give us guidance on how to care and succor the people in our lives that need our help within appropriate boundaries.  Love, care for and look for the good in each of us, and pray for them and for each other.  We're all we have.