Coughing in the Temple

It's a holiday here in Peru today. Of course, my scumbag brain woke up promptly at 6 am. After much arguing with myself, I decided to begin my day with some scripture study. I got hit with a bout of homesickness this morning. I pleaded with the Lord to know why I was here in Peru. How can I really last here on my own? I pleaded for help. As I was flipping through my journal, I stopped on an entry from earlier this year.

In March of this year, I had an experience at the Jordan River Temple in South Jordan, Utah. I love going to the temple as I feel peace and relief from the busy, confusing world. The House of the Lord is a place of learning, comfort and renewal. Years ago, I was counseled that I would find joy by serving in the temple.  It is true. I find joy in serving in the temple.

As a Latter-day Saint, I believe that we can serve as proxies to departed ancestors and others who desire to accept the Gospel, but weren't able to know it in mortality. I've always loved this beautiful piece of our doctrine. People who have passed on are not condemned to hell simply because they weren't able to know about Jesus Christ.To me, this is glorious evidence that God is a merciful Father, who provides a way for all that are willing and desirous to come unto Him.

In the temple, we can perform the saving ordinances such as baptism for departed ancestors and other members of God's family.  However, we still believe that even in the next life, people have free agency to accept those ordinances or reject them. So, rest assured for any of you that have doubts or hear things in the media, the people don't automatically become "Mormons" against their will.  Agency is crucial to God's plans for His children and I believe it doesn't stop after death.

Being here in Peru, I sorely miss the easy convenience of serving in the temple that the living in the Wasatch Front offered me.  I tried to go once a week and bring my own ancestor's names to complete their work. Temple service has wrought much healing to me as I endured some of my sorest and most deeply painful trials in life.

According to my journal, I went to the temple on March 25, 2012.  I had been sick for the past few weeks, but I felt good enough to attend the temple.  I wrote that "I hadn't been coughing too badly during the day,  but the fits started as I began.  It was painful and embarrassing. I prayed to have the coughing stop so I could finish the work. It didn't and I had to go out and get a drink. It helped and I had to pray again that my throat would be calm.  It didn't stay calm.  Finally, a temple worker brought me a cup of water. I didn't think I'd make it. Another worker refilled my cup of water and I was able to finish the work I set out to do for my ancestors."

I vividly remember that experience even now in October. I felt mortified every time I had to let out a dry, barking cough. I hadn't really been coughing all day, it only started up in the temple. I tried cough drops without much relief.  I remember thinking about leaving and not finishing the names, but I stayed. I remember thinking that it seemed to be going slower than usually because I was trying so hard not to cough and not be disruptive. It felt like every cough was a piercing bark that echoed through the whole room and into the hallway.

However, I was/am grateful for the kindness the temple workers showed me during that seemingly long session. It was their graciousness and understanding that helped me complete the work. They brought me water and shared cough drops to help me. They didn't get angry and tell me to leave, they reached out to me.

From that seemingly small incident, I learned a powerful lesson then and was reminded of it today. I wrote that "the Lord may not always take your trial away, but He will make it so you can get through it - usually with the help of other people."

Today, I also learned another powerful lesson. I can see the direct answer to my early morning pleadings with the Lord.  It has been through the help of other people here - colleagues, friends, church members - along with my friends and family back home that help me each and every day I am here.  I am grateful for all the prayers, support, thoughts and kindness shown and sent to me.