Seek The Temple

The last few weeks have been very hard for me emotionally. No real reason why, other than I just am feeling tired, worn out, homesick, and done. I've felt out-of-sorts, grumpy, depressed, and confused. The start of a new semester is challenging. I have 3 new batches of students to meet and manage, plus figure out what technology works in what classroom, etc.

Usually when I feel this way, I seek refuge in the temple. However, to reach the temple here, I'd either have to go to another country, Ecuador on a bus for 12 hours alone, or take a bus or plane to Lima,700+ miles south.  Either way, I don't know if I'm ready to go on the Ecuador bus journey alone (for safety reasons) or if I can spare the expense of going to Lima.  I know that if I could get to the temple, this anxiety, melancholy, stress, and sadness would be lifted, and I would have clarity and comfort.

Oh, how I truly miss the temple. At first, when I started attending, it was scary and overwhelming. Yet, as I've (hopefully) matured in spirit and emotion, I have come to relish the sweet peace, quiet, and inspiration I find only in the House of the Lord.  I always feel lighter, better, and more hopeful, despite the storms that circle me. When my life has fallen apart, I've been able to feel the healing power of the gospel through temple attendance. When my heart has been broken, I've turned to the temple, when my dreams have crumbled, I've gone to the temple. I have felt my burdens lifted after temple service.

When I used to live in the Salt Lake Valley, I challenged myself to attend the temple in various capacities once a week. It truly was a highlight of my week. I'd often think about putting it off, or canceling, just like I do with exercise, but afterwards (like exercise), I'd always feel so much better.  Some weeks, it just didn't work out, but I did try my best.

Before I left for Peru, I began doing temple work from baptisms through endowments for my ancestors. Each week, as I performed proxy work for my female ancestors, I felt the sweet feeling of gratitude that I was able to allow these departed ancestors the opportunity to accept the saving gospel ordinances.

Since I have been in Peru, I've been able to attend the temple two times in 8 months -or twice here in South America.

While I was in the States for the holidays, I was able to attend the Mesa Temple and the Bountiful Temple. It's been a couple of months since I've been able to attend the temple.

My last semester started this week and I'm having a rough time. My classes aren't warming up and they're struggling with the level of the course. I feel worn-out and depleted. I feel dejected. Only 5 students were in my 11 am class and they struggled.  I struggle to know how to reach them and get a good dynamic going in class. I feel like I'm losing my determination to even bother.  Let me just get through this semester and get it over with... yet, my dedication refuses to let me give up, but it's wearing thin, especially after a discouraging class session.

Tears flow down my face as I type this, oh how I wish I could go to the temple and feel the quiet, cool peace inside the holy walls. Yet time, money, distance, and fear for my safety, keep me bound to my hot, bright room.

I will never take the temple for granted, not that I did before, but how I wish I could just get into my car, trusty, zippy blue Blaze, and head to the temple.  When I was in Salt Lake, I bought a little card that has a picture of the Salt Lake Temple. It says "As long as you can see the  temple, you're never lost."

Don't lose sight of the temple, no matter how close or how far you are physically away from it.  Go to the temple, if you haven't been in a long time, or your recommend is expired, let go of the reasons why it is expired.  Let go of the burdens, doubts, or fears holding you back.

Think of me, alone in Piura, Peru, struggling to make it each day and wanting to go to the temple but can't really make it happen. Go for me, if nothing else. Treasure the temple, don't just drive by and think about going sometime.  Make the time now.