Sometimes during the course of my day, I just talk out loud to God. I talk to him in a conversational tone asking questions or just talking to Him.
Recently, I had an actual dialogue with God as if He was literally sitting in my borrowed office chair.
I was thinking about some extremely hard challenges that I'd been going through.
"God, why have these things happened to me?" I pleaded.
"Remember, I am protecting you." God responded immediately.
"Yes," I shot back with rising agony, "But why didn't you protect me from that last challenge?"
"It was a lesson you had to learn." God said clearly and continued, "Besides, if you had known the ending from the beginning would you still go through that experience?"
I didn't hesitate to respond.
"Yes," I said as I thought of all the tender and good moments I had experienced.
"That's the way life is too. You knew what your life would be like, you still chose it, and you were excited." The Spirit explained.
I thought about that answer. I was happy for the life I was to be given? This life fraught with heartache and pain? I tried not to dwell on my hurt, instead the analogy of the tapestry came to mind. We just see underneath the weaving. We just see the tangled colors of threads all mixing together making a giant, massive mess. For me, my life right now feels like a tangled mess of confusion, hurt, and abandonment.
Yet, I have to remember that only God, as the master weaver, can see the work in progress from the top and see how the colors all come together in a perfect pattern. God doesn't see me or you as a tangled mess. He sees us as a work in progress. It is hard for me to remember that perspective during our lives that are filled with challenges, trials, and heartache. I wish I knew why some people seem to have an abundance of challenges and others seem to be burden-free. I don't know. All I can suggest is that without the pain, how could we savor the sweet and tender mercies of life like laughing with friends, the sunshine's warmth on our cheeks, or the gentle touch of a loved one? Would I sacrifice any of those moments to be free of the agony or misery? A broken heart and spirit is a huge price to pay but I'd gladly pay the fees because there simply is nothing else I can do but to keep trying.Without hope, what do we really have?